Have you ever wondered why the man getting married is called the "groom" and the woman is called the "bride"? The word groom was derived from bridegroom, which means "one who makes ready the bride." This necessarily doesn't mean control, but rather a shared journey towards a new life together (building a lasting partnership).
I once heard someone say that nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but the bride; according to him, “it’s the man that will groom his bride to become the wife. That is the reason a man is referred to as a bridegroom or groom.”
He also noted that the word grooming has to do with patiently nurturing, tending, teaching, and helping someone to become what he or she should be, and it is universally known that a man who takes a woman to the temple of marriage is fully grown enough to patiently groom his bride to become the “wife.”
On his part, the man is not supposed to just expect the bride to instantly become his wife; she must be carefully groomed.
Similarly, a source once said that most men have unnecessary expectations when they’re getting married: “They want some magic to happen to their wives; they want them to become what they have had in mind about who they want their wives to be, not considering that the woman does not know what is on his mind except he teaches her.
The source also noted that their expectations are often unrealistic because they don’t remember that change takes time and they can only expect something from someone who knows what they want. He added, So before you think of divorcing, have you groomed her? Have you given her enough time to understand you? God usually brings individuals who are opposites of each other together in marriage so that they can help each other in their area of weakness.”
However, it is crucial to note that building a successful marriage takes time and effort from both partners. Henceforth, there's a period of adjustment and learning about each other.
During the period of adjustment and learning, the parties involved need to consider the following to make their marriage last:
Communication: Communication is the bedrock of every successful marriage. If you have expectations for your partner, talk to them openly and honestly. Also, listen to their needs and desires. Many frustrations in marriage arise from unmet expectations. Open communication allows you to share your thoughts and understand your partner's perspective.
Patience and acceptance: change takes time. Accepting your partner's individuality and working together to build a strong foundation is essential. Remember, marriage is a beautiful partnership. By fostering communication, patience, and acceptance, you can create a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Marriage is a partnership: The two parties in every marriage relationship should contribute equally to building a happy and fulfilling life together. This includes open communication, mutual respect, shared decision-making, and a lot more.
Control is unhealthy: Most marriages fail today because one party chooses to control the other. It is important to note that a marriage based on control is not a happy one. Each person deserves to be their own individual within the relationship.
Focus on growth: Marriage is a journey of learning and growing together. Embrace your partner's individuality and support each other's personal development.
Always remember that the real focus of marriage should be on building a strong, loving partnership based on mutual respect and open communication.
